; what a SMALL world ;

i think it's been 5 years now that im having a crush on him.,

i really can't believe it.,
we totally had so much in common.,
same place and subdivision that we're living 'til we're grown ups.,
neighbors.,
same school and same course now in college.,
schoolmates.,
same month of birth.,
July.,
what a super coincidence isn't it?
and not all that, he was my recent classmate on one of our major subject last semester.,

well, i have a crush on him since i was second year highschool., i think?
our house were very near to each other, that's why i could really see him sometimes back then.,
but when i found out that they transferred to other house but same subdivision as well,
im starting not to see him and im also starting to get used to it.,
im also starting to forget about his appearance and about my feelings for him too.,

because we really don't know each other.,
we never meet up and i just knew him as my mysterious crush.,
and i only found out his name by my old classmate in elementary because he's also his friend.,
as a matter of fact, my feelings for him didn't get serious as time had gone by.,
but im the type of girl that if i really like someone,
i can never erase the fact that i still like him no matter how long will it be not seeing him except if he had a girlfriend already.,
of course, im not a desperate girl who's still liking someone who's already had a girlfriend.,

and most especially, if we got a chance to meet up, have a conversation and communication,
my feelings for him will grow because that's what i am.,
my feelings would really grow if we had a communication.,
and if we'll deeply known each other.,
especially, if i already like him.,

nowadays, when i knew that he was my schoolmate and we're in the same course.,
i had a really big problem in dealing with it.,
because i could almost see him inside or outside the campus., ugh!
and i found out that my old classmate shared comments with him on friendster,
my classmate told all about me and he said that i had a crush on him., what?!
and that's also the reason why i couldn't even say “hi” to him even though we're classmate last sem.,
and some of my blockmates knew him but i never greet him when he's around.,
because im shy and he already knew that i had a crush on him.,

“kaya baka isipin lang niya na nagpapapansin lang ako sa kanya o nag-aassume dahil alam niyang may gusto ako sa kanya.”

“minsan na din niya akong sinabihan ng mataray at suplada dahil nga sa hindi ko siya pinapansin pero may reason talaga ako kung bakit ko hindi magawang makipag-kaibigan sa kanya.”

“sabi nga ng classmate ko, ayos nga yun lani na ang first impression sa'yo ng crush mo, "mataray", iisipin niya hard to get ka pa rin kahit na alam niyang may gusto ka sa kanya.”

and as of now, while dealing with it,
i used to saw him in our school.,
still seeing him walk, sit, talk, smile and stare.,

I REALLY LIKE THIS GUY!

“ito talagang tao na ito ang pinakamatagal kong naging crush pero iniisip ko din kung paano na kaya kung magkaroon na siya ng girlfriend.”

I WILL NEVER EVER TAKE THE RISK JUST TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM.,
I WILL NOT LOSE MY PRIDE BECAUSE OF HIM.,
I WILL NEVER EVER TALK TO HIM.,

but it's just words.,

“si God pa rin ang bahala sa'kin.”

even if we haven't talk just for once.,
and just by seeing him within a day.,
my feelings are growing more each day.,
and as for sure, if we'll already get the chance to talk with each other,
definitely, i'll fall in love with him.,
and there's no way he'll catch me when i fall.,

sometimes, im thinking that maybe he's my soulmate.,
and i tried a test last night about my personality and he's the answer to that question.,
the meaning of it that he was my twin soul.,
but that's impossible.,
i don't deserve to be his partner.,
im not the type of girl who he likes.,
im not that pretty and chinita.,
im not petite, im tall and chubby.,
im not that sexy too.,
and he's tall, handsome, gentleman and very intimidating.,
define GORGEOUS.,

so, where's the chance there to make him fall for me?
im just wasting my time with the thoughts of how he will be able to like me.,
still, those simple glimpse, stare and glare.,
i am proud to say that i am already contented and i am happy in every single day that im seeing him.,
for me, i can consider it my special day if we are seeing each other at school.,
he completes my day.,

im not hoping for a chance to be with him.,
im only hoping that he will always smile and laugh everyday.,
and i hope someday, he will meet the love of her life.,
just seeing him happy makes me happy too.,
becasue i also believe that he really deserves to be happy.,
he will be forever in my prayers.,

Lord, please take good care of my special someone.,
please guide him always

I Like Him. And That's All I Could Say. I Like Him. =c

“i don't think i've become emotional when it comes to you, but one thing is for sure,
good emotions burts into happiness.,
bad emotions burst into tears.”

“at diyan ako naguguluhan dahil sa nararamdaman ko para sa’yo.”

(ORIGINALLY POSTED: 1/25/10)